What is a Bird’s Nest Living Arrangement?
Anytime there is a separation or divorce in a family, lives will inevitably be disrupted, and everyone will go through changes as a new family arrangement is formed. Divorce is hardly ever easy, especially if there are kids involved in a family unit. Most parents hope for a smooth transition and have the best intentions to act respectfully with each other, though it’s often more difficult than first expected.
Parents going through a divorce have many options available to them when it comes to parenting and living arrangements. Every family is different, but the most important thing for all families should be to ensure the long-term stability and security of the children. When developing a legal parenting plan, some former partners may decide to share equal responsibilities when it comes to parenting in an arrangement called shared parenting, or co-parenting. Others may even take it a step further and decide to live in a “bird’s nest” arrangement. Here I’ll explain each concept in a bit more detail.
Any couple with children going through a divorce needs to file a Florida parenting plan with their decisions on how they will raise the children. If parents decide to enter into a co-parenting plan, they may also choose to create a separate informal plan with more ways that they will equally split parenting duties. This type of parenting style requires both former spouses to work respectfully with each other and share equal duties when it comes to raising the children. Neither parent is the primary caregiver, nor the visiting parent, but both agree to share in the parenting roles through the duration of the plan.
A co-parenting arrangement is designed to provide minimal disruption in a child’s life, but there has to be a definitive plan. This plan should include items about which parent is responsible for issues related to healthcare, finances, schooling, religion, activities, etc… that the children will be affected by until they are adults. Some examples of questions that should be discussed include:
- Who makes decisions related to medical visits?
- Education choices?
- College saving plans?
- Which parent is responsible for pick-up from school?
Bird’s Nest Living Arrangement
In a co-parenting situation, parents decide to have separate but loving homes while consulting with each other on the most important issues. However, some parents decide to keep themselves separated by rotating in and out of the family home while allowing their children to continue to stay in the same house. Parents may maintain a separate residence outside the home for the parent that is not living with the child in the family home at the time, or they may opt for separate residences altogether. The goal of this type of child-centered living arrangement is to provide the least amount of disruption in the child’s life, as they will not have to be shuttled back and forth to different residences. A bird’s nest arrangement really works best if parents are able to maintain a cooperative and amicable relationship at all times, as they both will still be sharing space at different times when in the family home.
Some things to consider in a situation where parents are sharing a home space on a rotating basis, such as with a bird’s nest co-parenting arrangement:
Will the parents each maintain a separate house outside of the main family home, or will they share a space as well? Can the family afford three residences? Who will be responsible for repairs to the home?
How will former spouses maintain privacy if they are sharing a family home? Will this affect the second residence as well?
Similarly to any parenting plan, which parent will make the major decisions? Will it be the parent who is in the family home at the time, or will all decisions be made jointly?
In any divorce situation where there are children involved, both parents should work toward shielding the children from any major conflicts. Former spouses should make it a priority to communicate clearly and peacefully, especially when children are around. Disruption of some kind will always be a part of a divorce, but when parents have mutual respect and a shared goal of providing for the stability of the child first, an appropriate parenting plan can be established.
With any divorce situation, it’s important to contact an experienced family law attorney. Your attorney can help you develop a legal parenting plan that works for your family.
Chapter 4: Cooperative Parenting Strategies. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.floridacoparenting.com/course_sample.html?p=4
“Bird’s Nest” Co-Parenting Arrangements. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201307/birds-nest-co-parenting-arrangements